Neighbors

If I did not love my condo as much as I do, I would move. My neighbors are too nosy and have too much time on their hands.

One neighbor, whom I would find interesting if I did not live in the same building with her, notices what time I come home! One day when I came home earlier than I normally do, she greeted me with the following innocuous comment: "Aren't I paying your salary?"

(I work for the state government, and for those nosy people who want to know why I came home so early, government workers have "flex time," which means that I can stay late one day and leave early the next as long as I am at work during certain required times and work a total of 37.5 hours a week.)

Fortunately, she never has to worry about anyone asking her about her work hours because she is self-employed as a soccer coach and dog-walker and also has a loom in her condo, which I am sure is related to one of her many professions.

I also enjoy being treated like a child. On one snowy day, I had to scratch the ice sealing the garbage and recycling containers shut with my bare hands in order to throw my garbage out in the appropriate bins, but that is the price that I am willing to pay for living in the fabulous blue state of Massachusetts.

After disposing of my refuse, a neighbor came out. I could not understand what he was saying because of the wind. As he was shoveling the snow off the top of the containers, I thought that he was asking me which container was which because the labels were mostly covered by accumulated flakes (that's not snow...they are my neighbors...I'm here all week). Also I think that my common sense filter was turned on, and I refused to believe what I was hearing, "Don't throw your garbage in the recycling."

Instead I walked back towards the building after telling him which receptacle corresponded to which type of trash until he gestured angrily while holding up a paper bag containing paper products and repeated, "Don't throw your garbage in the recycling." I struggled with my desire to tell him what I thought, but decided to remain polite as I stated the obvious. I didn't throw out my garbage, and he was holding recycling. Apparently nosiness corresponds with being sight impaired.

I have no idea whether or not he understood what I was saying because as I entered the building, I could tell that he was upset that I did not return to the freezing cold in order to exonerate myself and reassure him that I was not culpable.

I know that moving would not help because a friend at another Cambridge condo has encountered her share of annoying neighbors. While moving into her condo, her brother left the keys in the moving van so a neighbor took them and left without leaving a note in order to teach her a lesson. This same neighbor praised her when he witnessed her checking that the main entrance door was locked before leaving the premises.

I am not sure if I and my friend have experienced such patronizing behavior because we are younger than most of our neighbors and women, but I am reassured when I see my loom-owning neighbor terrorizing residents who smoke on the sidewalk. Bad neighbors are not sexist. They are willing to annoy everyone equally.