Rich Dad, Poor Dad--You're Still A Bastard!

That's right, Robert Kiyosaki, I'm talking to you! And shame on you, PBS, for lending your respectability in exchange for a few pledges. When I watch PBS, I expect that most of the shows are going to be based on thorough and exhaustive research, not gimmicky Saturday morning hotel room seminars dripping with the slimy aura of a get rich scheme.

So when I noticed that the PBS advertisement for "Rich Dad's Guide to Wealth," I decided to watch it. The advertisement asserted that I would "Learn to be an active, not passive, investor, find out why stocks, bonds and mutual funds are the riskiest investments and figure out how to 'win the game of money.'"

I will watch anything related to finances, but I also have a brain. Within a few minutes of watching Mr. Kiyosaki prance around the stage while using words like "assets" and "liabilities" incorrectly, periodically writing on a white board and pulling out random newspaper clippings, I was horrified to think that some people were listening to him and taking his advice.

Mr. Kiyosaki is the Satan of Finance. At first, he offers friendly anecdotes. He peppers his talk with brief moments of common sense and truth. It is hard to get money. Most people don't know how to do it. He justly criticizes educators for not teaching children more about how to manage their finances.

Mr. Kiyosaki seems innocuous as he shares moments with his audience by getting them to nod their heads and laugh in agreement, but my stomach churned at how insidious he really was. He is not laughing with them. He is really laughing at them because he knows how easy it is to get an audience on your side. He only has to pretend that he is sharing secrets with them without saying anything substantive.

Mr. Kiyosaki never offers any concrete examples of how to make money, but does spend an awfully long time ridiculing the traditional ways: saving money, working hard and investing. He says that people should not worry so much about getting into debt or investing. He even ridicules the idea of paying your mortgage. His advice: get something that will make money for you so you don't have to work. Has anyone found a golden goose or the end of a rainbow?

Mr. Kiyosaki finally closed his hour of shuffling by summarizing his advice in one simple sentence. How do you find that money tree? Follow your dreams. I wish that I was kidding. That's how he ends the hour. That's it. Follow your dreams. He then cites Mick Jagger as an example because Mick went to school to work in economics, but ended up a rock star. That's it. Become a rock star. Because rock stars don't have to tour twenty four hours or suddenly become bankrupt. Let me get out my notebook to record your brilliant advice. WWMJD!

After doing a little digging, I was not too surprised that like marijuana, Mr. Kiyosaki's hour special is only a gateway to a stronger dose of his financial pabulum at the cost of $5000 for a longer seminar on how to make money in real estate. It felt like PBS aired this infomercial two times a day for the entire month of March. It scares me to think of how many people watched his show, and that those people will actually believe him.

For instance, my mother caught a few minutes of his show. Ever since Enron, she has been very nervous about my investments and has encouraged me to pull all my money out of my IRA. Even after reading several good books on personal finance, she is still edgy about my financial decisions, but I had managed to quiet her fears after slowy going through each investment and explaining why I decided to take a certain course of action.

After watching Mr. Kiyosaki, my mom tore into my room and was thoroughly panicked about my investments. Years of patient explanations and success were cast aside by a few minutes with this blowhard! Mr. Kiyosaki, now it is personal. Don't mess with the mommy!

Mr. Kiyosaki, America is facing a difficult time. We eat too much without exercising. We can't temper our desires so we live beyond our means in the hopes that we will become happy, but instead descend into a hell of debt and worry. Meanwhile, our economy is floundering and even hardworking people who follow the rules are having a hard time.

Then you come into their homes, sell them the Brooklyn Bridge and tell them it will be OK. The rules are stupid. You don't have to save. You don't have to work hard. You don't have to be smart. Well, when you mess with America at this critical financial time, you're not just messing with my mommy! You're messing with everyone's mom, dad, brother and sister. And if America falls for it, and you get to line your pockets with their credit card receipts, checks and money orders endorsed to you, I would stop laughing because there is one game that you can't win with a wink and a smile. That's the game of eternity!

The Bible focuses predominantly on financial issues and our attitude to money. "And if we have food and covering, with these we shall be content (1 Timothy 6:8)." In other words, there is more to life than money. On the other hand, the Bible does exhort us to treat money wisely and not get into debt. "Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another (Romans 13:8)." The Bible encourages us to invest wisely and provide for our loved ones, "…children are not responsible to save up for their parents, but parents for their children (2 Corinthians 12:14)." Perhaps you have even heard of the man who gave his servants talents and rewarded them when they invested their talents.

But Mr. Kiyosaki, your wealth is not solely dependent on real estate, but fleecing your fellow citizens. I hate to break it to you, but the Native Americans were right. The land is not yours. "The land, moreover, shall not be sold permanently, for the land is Mine... (Leviticus 25:23)"

Mr. Kiyosaki, you are not rich because you are cunning. He made you rich, and He can make you poor...financially or spiritually. "The Lord makes poor and rich; He brings low, He also exalts (1 Samuel 2:7)." Mr. Kiyosaki, you are a false teacher, and it is time for you to repent. "But false prophets also arose among the people, just as there will be false teachers among you...and in their greed they will exploit you with false words (2 Peter 2: 1, 3)."

Return $5,000 to each person who attended your seminar, apologize publicly and continue to invest in real estate (if that is how you really made your money...assuming you have any) and earn money the honest way. If you do not, you will not prosper: "...the treacherous will be caught by their own greed (Proverbs 11:6)."

If you decide to repent, then follow God's advice on how to prosper. Do not worship idols by only focusing on becoming rich. Instead, acknowledge that God owns everything, ask Him for His guidance, diversify your investments--i.e. don't just invest in real estate, steadily save, and give generously. Do not exploit others and treat the poor fairly. Do not denigrate hard work (John 5:17). Pay your taxes. If Jesus could, so can you (Matthew 22: 17-21).

Finally, do not be proud or trust in your riches, but in the Lord. "...let the rich man glory in his humiliation, because like flowering grass he will pass away. For the sun rises with a scorching wind, and withers the grass; and its flower falls off, and the beauty of its appearance is destroyed; so too is the rich man in the midst of his pursuits will fade away (James 1:9-11)."